Juicing with my girls yesterday!

7 Sep

Zoë is now TWO!

1 Jul

I can hardly believe my baby is now two. I now realize she’s not reeeeallly my baby as much as my sweet little girl. She’s even becoming less of a toddler! It’s amazing how the time flies.

Zoë is saying new words everyday, including words like “bandaid”, “pretty”, “fly” (as in the verb, generally about bugs and birds) and more. Literally, every day. She cracks me up with her sense of humor and is quite playful. She loves to pretend with her sister, most often playing as Cats or kittens, or mom and baby or sisters (switching roles), and playing in their toy kitchen.

She often surprises me by asking for black beans out of the blue and loves to eat bananas, avocados, tofu, string beans, berries, etc. and try foods that Eden won’t touch. She gladly tries Indian dishes and spicy things – sometimes liking it a lot, sometimes not so much.

She continues to nurse, and though I’d like to wean her, I’m not entirely committed yet because it’s such a sweet little time we have together which is soothing to us both. If she’s in a bad mood and nurses, it always cheers her up. That’s hard to really commit against!

She is very passionate and strong willed, more so than I recall Eden ever having been. She will grin at me with a naughty twinkle in her eye before doing something that I told her not to do, and throw a full on tantrum if I tell her no or not now. She won’t be easily swayed, I take it, by social pressures ;) I like that, but it may be a challenge… Haha!

She LOVES fish, horses (“neigh neighs”), pointing out bugs and worms on the sidewalk (“dead! Bud! Worm!”) since we try to save living worms when they’re displaced after rain storms, Minnie Mouse, Ariel, and is ENAMORED of Anna & Elsa from the movie Frozen.

She twirls in her dresses and loves to try on shoes – her own, dress up shoes, or anyone else’s. She also loves to drag a bag around and put on chapstick.

She is a happy and daring swimmer in the pool (wearing her full on life vest swimsuit), pushing off of her father or me and wanting to go off on her own. She jumps off the edge of the wall to us and though she appears shocked for a brief moment if she goes all the way under, she grins a big grin and says “mo!” And wants to do it again, immediately. So she’ll be jumping off the edge of the pool and going underwater while her older sister prefers to keep her head dry and stay in full control 😂

Eden and Zoë are such good friends and it makes me so happy seeing how their friendship continues to develop. They love to dance and hold hands (well, Zoë has only started to like holding hands with Eden in the past few weeks), and play dress up together. Zoë loves to sit beside Eden when we’re at Storytime at the library, and wants to join in any activity of her sister’s, like at school or playtime with her friends.

She is really a good artist for being so young. She loves to draw with markers and doesn’t really like crayons at all. She’d prefer to draw with pens (“daddy pens”), over crayons any day!

Okay, I’ve got to go. In the process of writing this, I nursed her and she played with Eden and broke our new toy (the Lets Go Fishing game)! Haha ohhhh this crazy life. Happy birthday, Zoë!!! I love you!

iPhone. iTypos. iSorry.


6 May

I learned today of the passing of a little boy (who I believe was about 3 or 4, the same age as Eden), the son of a mama who is connected with other mamas I know thanks to Instagram. He was playing frisbee. He went to chase a frisbee and he was hit by a truck. He’s dead. From joyful playing in springtime weather, to dead. Gone forever. Their only child.

My heart breaks for them and I worry, because this kind of grief can tear people apart. I hope and pray that God will reveal Himself even now, all the more. What is God if He is just suddenly absent from our suffering and inactive? I believe He is fully present and at work, though surely his tears are more painful than my own, or even the boy’s parents.

I bring this up because it has stayed on my mind all day. Walking by cars in our neighborhood, watching my girls play together. I’m reminded of how precious photographs are – along with the power of putting down the camera from time to time, as well, to be fully present. I’m reminded that my drill Sargent toughness with the girls about street safety isn’t just me being paranoid. I’m reminded that my girls are a beautiful, divine, temporary gift from God and that although my days are exhausting and seem so back to back sometimes that days and months blur together… That their giggles and laughter make my heart burst with joy, and that I want to remember these days as they fly past even when they drag, as well.

Watching Eden & Zoë’s sweet, special bond grow stronger and stronger, I am in awe of how God brings us together and the beauty of their relationship. It makes me so happy to have two girls who adore one another so well. Granted, Zoë is a good deal more into her sister than the reverse, ALWAYS wanting to be with her and all, but they both care deeply for one another. Zoë always gets very upset when Eden goes to school and though Eden doesn’t get upset about going, she was distressed when I picked her up today WITHOUT Zoë. What a precious gift they have in one another, that I hope to cultivate and encourage over the years.

Usually, when Eden is at preschool (3 mornings a week: Mon, Tues, Fri from 8:30am -12:30pm), I run errands with Zoë or go to the gym or maybe the library or something. The activity isn’t generally centered completely on Zoë, since I want to take advantage of having only one kid.

Today, however, I intentionally did what Zoë wanted. She’s been asking for swings for two days, so I took her to the park and let her swing for FORTY FIVE minutes, uninterrupted. She still threw a tantrum when we left, but it was cute to see her having such fun in the swing! She wouldn’t let me swing next to her, and kept calling out "die! Die!" (Or at least, that’s how I hear it) which is Zoë’s way of saying “again.” It was wonderful to be together in gorgeous weather and a great start to the day for us both.

There’s an enormous amount of pressure on parents to be, do, have, look, feel, act, treasure etc… One thing is that I feel pressure – albeit self imposed- to have some great images and meaningful scrapbooks. But my desire to make them well has inhibited me from making much of anything since Eden was born. I’m hoping to improve my approach to organizing photos I do take and getting back into writing down memories as we experience them because my mind simply seems to act like a sieve and I can only see what is 24 hours ahead of me or immediately before me. Looking back at old pictures floors me. I can’t believe my TWO babies have grown so much! And yet, I can’t believe they were ever so small, either.

So regardless of photo albums and journal or blog entries, I am reminded to remember with a grateful heart what has happened and to treasure the day I have with my loved ones and on this wild adventure. One simply does not know the days of life we have ahead, and only God should.

I’m also so thankful for life of Mollie, one of my best friends in the world, whose birthday we celebrate today. She is chosen family and that is also such a gift. I have moved around a lot and she continues to be one of the most remarkable, delightful, “real” to me (as in, we have our walls and facades down or peeled away) friends and she makes my life more worthwhile. I adore her.

So, tonight as I lie here with sleepy eyes and mismatched pajamas, I thank God for my family and my friends, for my little girls and the blessings of this ever so vibrant, turbulent, delightful, heart wrenching life.

(And I attach some miscellaneous photos from today, yesterday & Sunday)









Before I forget

29 Apr

Life is such a whirlwind it seems, and I haven’t blogged in ages for a lot of reasons, probably largely the busyness and working part time. I just rarely have spare moments AND energy. One or the other ;)

So, quickly.

Zoë’s favorite color seems to be purple – or maybe it’s the only one she knows. She gets SO thrilled whenever she sees purple anywhere (at the library, a shelf of purple books – in books, she won’t let us read on until we acknowledge the purple part, etc.), and only occasionally confused purplish pinks or blues for purple. Otherwise, she knows the color for sure.

Zoë is saying more and more things, and today said a few phrases that shocked me: “here, mom!” And “more Ana [frozen movie soundtrack] please” without any prompting!

She is passionate and throws a mean tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants, especially with Eden.

Eden and Zoë continue to be extremely close and when they go to bed at the same time, Eden insists on endless kisses from Zoë, who gladly gives them until I say it’s REALLY time for bed now. Eden gets really excited to match her sister in outfits, and they both adore the “water baby” I got for Zoë on our road trip to see Aunt Mollie. They play with it in the bath tub every night, including fighting over it.

Eden cracks me up with her humor as efforts at being sly, her wild and wonderful imagination, how she makes up words and defines/explains them for me, and at how excited she is just to be alive and doing almost anything. She’s gotten really good at playing quietly on her own for longer periods and loves puzzles now. But most of all, I love that her drawing has gone from being masses of color to occasionally being very clearly of something. Today she drew me a cat, a mommy and daddy and a giant. It was so cute!!!

Eden repeatedly say she’s going to be a singer when she grows up, and sometimes urges me to sing or tells me I can’t sing because SHE is going to sing the song now. She’s also been making up stories while singing since sometimes I’ll do the same for her at night. She loves to snuggle up close to me a lot and jumping on the couch even though it stresses me out. Eden’s best friend is Emmy, one of her classmates, and also sometimes Ella, her friend from ballet class who we have play dates with frequently.

The girls are obsessed with Frozen (or “Ana” as Zoë calls it all), and we currently listen to it in the car too much. I can’t help but sing almost all the words, now! They love to play babies or Kitty cats, and generally just adore and enjoy each other a lot.

Life has been crazy, absurdly busy, but happy. I’ve started a book group with some wonderful ladies here whom I’ve become friends with and I’m still on the flower guild and just trying to keep up with meals, the girls, and schedules. I’m loving going to the gym and getting into shape and happy to see my babies becoming kids – and yet; not wanting to be without babies, either!

So there are some random thoughts about where we are now. Oh! And Eden loves spinach salads with balsamic vinaigrette, got mad at me for running out of roasted broccoli, and it’s been fun to see the girls both loving tofu amongst other things (like frozen berries, mango, apples, popcorn…)!

Trying to be more present with them makes it harder to spend the time encapsulating these memories… Trying to juggle both ;) Time flies too fast!

Sent from my phone.

The definition of pathetic

15 Apr

My poor babies have both been hit by a bad stomach virus. Both have been so very un-characteristically quiet, drained/groggy/sleepy, and excessively whiney. It’s so sad. Hoping so much that I don’t get it, too. Not only does it look terrible but it’s Holy Week. As in, the busiest week of the year for a clergyman. And if I get it, well, Matt’s pretty sure to get it, too. We’ve been drinking grape juice as a preventative measure thanks to the recommendation of friends but we’ll see!

Well, I think my kids are even adorable when they’re the definition of pathetic. I guess that’s just the whole mom thing. Haha but I hope they feel better soon! Until then, lots of quiet lounging, cuddles and movies.

The definition of pathetic

14 Apr

My poor babies have both been hit by a bad stomach virus. Both have been so very un-characteristically quiet, drained/groggy/sleepy, and excessively whiney. It’s so sad. Hoping so much that I don’t get it, too. Not only does it look terrible but it’s Holy Week. As in, the busiest week of the year for a clergyman. And if I get it, well, Matt’s pretty sure to get it, too. We’ve been drinking grape juice as a preventative measure thanks to the recommendation of friends but we’ll see!

Well, I think my kids are even adorable when they’re the definition of pathetic. I guess that’s just the whole mom thing. Haha but I hope they feel better soon! Until then, lots of quiet lounging, cuddles and movies.

Zoë at nearly 21 months

18 Mar

Zoë’s little sense of humor is coming out more and more, even as she also increases her emotional reactions to things she dislikes. She can throw a pretty big tantrum now, and her screams can really get very loud. I don’t know if she’s any quieter now than Eden was – maybe she’s making up for her quietness at birth.

For months now, she’s woken up asking for Eedie and Dahdee but now she will chatter while switching sides nursing and say a variety of words or sounds. Usually it’s nonsensical but I’ve also realized that I spend so much time with her that I really believe I can interpret a lot of what she’s trying to say. Like, knowing that she wants to take a toy she sees for a ride or wondering if a wagon is daddy’s because it looks similar to the one at church, etc.

One of my favorite little things she does is repeating or chanting "no, no, no!" While wagging her finger and grinning because of a Sandra Boynton book that says:

"cows say moo, sheep say baa. Three singing pigs say LA LA LA… No, no, no, that’s not right you say! Pigs say OINK all night and day!"

It cracks us both up and she just LOVES the LA LA LA and "no, no, no!" parts.

I am eager to be able to work more but I’m also now starting to feel a bit sad about having Zoë go to school in the fall. I’ll miss her, as I missed Eden, and even more so perhaps because I won’t have another baby to cuddle with in the meantime ;) but I think it will be really good for me and for all of us for me to be working and I’m glad that we plan for me to still spend the afternoons with them :)

(pictures are of Zoë from the St Patrick’s parade two days ago: March 16, 2014 on Hilton head island.)


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